Relative Happiness:

Last Saturday night I was fantasizing about dying. I was in so much pain from influenza that I just wanted to end it. Severe aches in my hands prevented me from writing about it. My head hurt so bad, I couldn't read. SL was no help at all. The only distraction was funny videos, and I didn't have enough.

I got through the fevers and aches, only to be left with a persistent, deep wracking cough. The kind  that bends you in half and causes strangers to make the sign of the cross. Today, despite a still horrible cough, I feel reborn.

The difference between then and now, is so great I feel like a new person. The sky is bluer and the air smells better. I suppose this could only be a momentary respite, but for at least a few hours today, I was happy.