Imagine you're stranded on an island. It's not unbearable. There's food. It's not really living, but you can survive. You would escape and never look back except for the impassable expanse of the ocean. You could make a raft, but you might die of thirst while lost at sea or drown if you're swept away from the raft by a storm. Escape is going to take more concentrated effort and will than you can sustain.
That's what my life is like. I'm slowly dying and I can't raise my energy to escape levels. I just plod along, one foot in front of the other. That's the horrible truth of my life.