The Book Meme:

Strawberry Singh has a Book Meme this week. I don't usually do memes because I'm too lazy to answer so many questions. However, this meme asks a question I can't ignore: which book is your favorite?

Most people will answer that question with a list. They can't choose just one and I understand why. There are a lot of great books. How could you choose just one?

That's why I feel compelled to answer. While there are many excellent books, there is one in my mind that stands above the others. It addresses the big questions, life, death and love. If I met the Dali Lama, I would say "your holiness, have you read this book?" This is the opening paragraph:

Late in the winter of my seventeenth year, my mother decided I was depressed, presumably because I rarely left the house, spent quite a lot of time in bed, read the same book over and over, ate infrequently, and devoted quite a bit of my abundant free time to thinking about death.

Do you recognize it? It's The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. Five stars and 10,137 reviews. Yes, it will make you weep, but that's the beauty of this magnificent work. It will break your heart so that it's never closed again.

I Do:

Do you ever wonder if I'm writing especially for you? Well you should, because I do.

Where I'm From

I am frequently asked where I'm from. I'm from an alternate universe a lot like this one. The sex is way better there. However, it's not easy to appear attractive. You can't get a new skin. You're stuck with the same one forever. If you want to change your shape, you have to work really hard at exercising and it only changes your width, not your height.

Hair is a problem too. You have to grow it yourself, and it never grows right. People spend a lot of time and money in salons trying to get their hair to look attractive. It's possible to buy hair and wear it, but it always looks funny.

Therefore it's difficult to present a pleasing appearance and attract desirable partners. Despite the superior experience, sex is much less frequent. I'm not sure which world is better.

1500 Days Old Today:

 Today I'm 1500 days old in my second life. It seems like it's been only a few weeks since I became a thousand days old, but it's been more than a year. How time flies when you're wasting your life. If I want the days to drag by so that each seems like an eternity, I should find something I hate and do that everyday.

Sunblock for the Soul:

Even though I haven't been writing, I've been thinking of you. I've just been too depressed recently to post anything. I let someone get too close to me and they hurt me. You would think I would have learned after all this time. The best shield against heart damage is to act as if you don't have a heart. Cynicism is sunblock for the soul. It keeps you from getting burned.

Found:

My Age:

I am frequently asked my age. Let me say this, I used to think I had forever. Now, not so much. Forever is in the past. There are holes in my shoes. The elbows on my sleeves are worn through. For me, the best of life has probably come and gone.

But I try to keep my thoughts on what's important: the search for truth and beauty and to create and share meaning.

Share something with me.

Who You Are:

Do you know who you are? In my head, I hold conversations with you constantly. When I pass over the small bridge under the larger bridge and notice how beautiful it is, I think of you, of what I would say if you were here. You have no idea of the space you take up in my mind. After I met you, my thoughts spent days rearranging themselves to make room for the idea of us.

You've heard of mind-altering drugs? You're a mind expanding drug. When I write, I am writing for you. When I think, I am thinking of you. When you're not around, I wonder where you are and what you would say if you were here.
 

You're part of the true world. The world just beyond the edge of this one that I can only glimpse. That's who you are.

No Salvation:

I'd like to think that I can be saved. That somehow I could be the hero of my own life story. That in the end, it was worth the suffering. That there was something good in me despite the plethora of mistakes, sins and errors in judgement. But I have no faith in salvation. I've worshiped lies, spat on my dreams and ignored my inner voice. The truth is, I don't deserve to be saved and won't be. Not all stories have a happy ending.